Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Who Cares?

At long last, my LittleFee Reni is on her way home, I received my Shipping Notice Friday. I was hoping to show you photos today, as a Friday EMS is usually delivered the following Tuesday, but although I know she's already arrived in Melbourne, the parcel is not showing up on Australia Post's website as yet.


Anyway, there is something else that I would like to chat about today. I am a strong believer in change for the better and am all for advancing technology, but unfortunately it has some very disappointing side effects . . . well at least it does for me.

I have noticed since the introduction of mobile phones (cell phones) and the inevitable texting, that many people no longer address people by their names. I have always thought it only common courtesy to address someone in a written letter, PM or email by their name if I know it, or Sir or Madam if I don't.

However, more and more these days, I find the messages and emails I receive sound so detached, it's like these people couldn't care less about you. One is given the impression, you're just a thorn in their side or as the sign says, they just don't give a shit.

This became especially noticeable when it came to making a couple of  enquiries on Etsy recently. I was just checking on delivery times for items I had ordered, but although I addressed the person by their name, was polite and signed my real name after the "Kind regards", the notes of reply were just that, notes!

Very brief, disinterested and almost flippant, no "Hello", no "Thank you for your enquiry",  no reference to personal names or "Kind regards" at the end, which has certainly put me off purchasing from these suppliers again.

I'm not saying every supplier is like that, but I certainly would have thought, any supplier wanting repeat business, would take the time to provide some degree of thoughtful, personal service, but obviously there are some who really don't give a damn!

How do you feel about this, do you think we are gradually becoming a "couldn't care less", nameless society?

Personally, I may be an old fuddy duddy, but I would much rather be known as someone who couldn't care more . . . wouldn't you?


  1. Congrats on your shipping notice Xanadu! I'm not surprised it doesn't show up on Australia Post to be honest. The website is super slow at updating tracking info. I've found if you check around about 9am each day, the site usually updates.

    For me, I will usually use their screen name unless they sign with their real name as not everyone (I've noticed) likes to give out their real name, which is fine. They may be a private person or just may prefer their screen name more.

    It really doesn't take much time to sign off with something polite but you'd be surprised at the amount of people that don't do that. I tend to add "Thanks for your time." at the end of my queries when I send them to sellers.

    I think it could also be laziness. With all that "text" language people use all the time now, people get lazy and don't want to type out whole sentences. They either don't know that it comes off sounding a little impolite/rude or they are just in too much of a rush to write a proper reply which is bad considering that person is a potential customer (and possible repeat customer).

    But I do know what you mean. I have run into this quite often on Etsy. If it's a seller that possibly doesn't use english as their first language, I put it down to maybe something lost in translation ... but if it's someone with english as their first language, I tend to think maybe they are being lazy and/or answering the message from their mobile and I have noticed people tend to be quite short and brief in messages sent from phones.

    I hope all that made sense!

  2. Thanks Alasse, perhaps she will arrive tomorrow (fingers crossed) I am anxious to see her in the flesh.

    Oh that makes heaps of sense, believe me, but honestly how much effort does it really take to be a little nice when dealing with people? It's the same in person, I always find I get much better service in shops and at the checkout, when I speak to the assistants and call them by name (most wear name tags) . . . I think we all like to ne acknowledged as people and not things, don't you?


    1. I definitely agree with you there. I've worked in a customer based clinic for ten years and you can visibly see the change when one of the patients walk in and I greet them by name and ask them about their kids/husband/holiday etc, whatever they talked about last time they were there.

      When they had a Dymocks up here, I used to be a regular customer and all the girls knew me by name and it did make me feel like a person rather than a customer ID on their system.

      So yeah, I get where you're coming from.

  3. Hello Sandy,
    I think we are just in cycle of humanity where manners and being polite are not a priority. I think it might change for the next generation, but sadly ours will be plagued by lack of courtesy. But luckily there are several people who seem to be fighting the trend...here's hoping.
    I'm happy your packaged shipped and can't wait to see it arrived.
    Big hug,

  4. I'm not too surprised by people who initiate conversations in a short or informal way (I think there are a fair number of people who really do see everything online as equivalent to a text), but I do find it more shocking when they're supposedly running a business. Even if Etsy (or ebay - I've seen a fair bit of it there too) is just a hobby for them, it certainly isn't doing them any favours to be unprofessional!

    On a happier note, congrats on the shipping notice! I'm looking forward to seeing your LittleFee Reni when she arrives! :)

  5. Congrats! I hope you get your as soon as possible, this final waiting is the worst part.

    Well, I'm from Spain, so English isn't my first language. When I attended to English classes years ago, our teachers, first a Canadian man and a couple of years later an English man, taught us that we had to be polite with everybody, which means to give thanks and so forth. At that era mobile phones weren't as popular as now, so I guess that being polite is getting lost because people is lazy. I don't think it's a big effort to add a simple "thanks" and show some respect. People are becoming as lazy nowadays that they even shorten words when typing a private note. And I have to add that this also happens in Spain between people who speak Spanish. Is very sad.

  6. I think the addressing by the name culture is dying. I can't say for sure about the world and other countries, since 'namelessness' has always been part of my own culture. : D In my country we don't call each other by our names that often, except when it comes to very, VERY important letters and emails. That's why when I write in English I somehow forget to give a proper greeting at the end of the message or at the beginning. : (
    But I do get your point. If I decided to buy something and didn't receive anything else than a simple reply with no personality, I might not want to buy anything again from the same seller. Just like you said, it feels like the supplier isn't giving a damn if I don't buy from them again. : /
    It might be that people have become more stressed, busy and burn out in a world where they're expected to keep going and going until they collapse. But you would think leaving a positive impression on someone would be more important now than ever.
    You brought up an interesting topic! Sorry if I'm not making any sense, I'm not that strong in English. : D

    Keep blogging <3


  7. Hello from Spain: soon come your package .. we keep in touch

  8. Like some folks have mentioned, there certainly could be language or cultural barriers creating some of this. The use of mobile devices probably doesn't help things either but in my mind, I think it's a deeper cultural issues as well. To put it bluntly, a lot of us in western society have our heads up our collective butts. A premium is placed on OTHER people respecting or accommodating ME, while I have no obligation to do likewise in return. I would go so far as to say that some people or subcultures put a premium on being rude, discourteous, etc in the belief that it shows strength and forces others to give you the respect you deserve.

    And that's my little rant! ;)

  9. Hi Sandy,
    I couldn't agree more on the manners! I am "old fashioned" in this way as well. My mother was very diligent when we were growing up and I have always noticed "the politeness factor" in others and whether or not it is present. I am finding more and more detachment on this level as well, not only online, but out and about. I guess it is the way our culture is changing as everyone has their eyes on a mobile device instead of looking up at the world around them! The only thing I can really do is just try to instill a sense of manners in my little ones and hope they fly with it! Interesting topic to discuss. I do find that when I come across someone who is more personable, it can really make my day!

  10. I'm seconding Geektopian's post... people do put a premium on you being polite to them, without any thought or regard to how they should act in return.

    I personally don't mind the lack of formality in emails... but for me that probably comes from the fact that every single weekday at work I communicate through emails that are often more like conversations than formal pieces of writing... as our business world spreads out, I spend a lot of time emailing folks in different countries/states/etc and it's all rapid-fire, so really, it's just another form of having a conversation since making a phone call might not be a viable option at the moment.
    (Plus, as a designer, a lot of the messages sent to me are instructional, so it's just more convenient to have it in writing anyways).

    But yeah, especially in the doll/craft community, there is a real lack of respect in communication... and the ones that really crack me up are the folks asking for something... like, "I really like the skirt you made. Give me the pattern."... I've had people send me messages like that. Using the phrase "Give me"... it always cracks me up and annoys the heck out of me at the same time. Needless to say, they don't get a response.